History

They carried P-38 can openers and heat tabs,
watches and dog tags, insect repellent, gum,
cigarettes, Zippo lighters, salt tablets,
compress bandages, ponchos, Kool-Aid,
two or three canteens of water, iodine tablets,
sterno, LRRP-rations, and C-rations stuffed in socks.

They carried standard fatigues, jungle fatigues,
jungle boots, bush hats, flak jackets and steel pots.

 

They carried the M-16, trip flares and Claymore mines,
M-60 machine guns, the M-79 grenade launcher, M-14's,
CAR-15's, Stoners, Swedish K's, 66mm LAWS,
shotguns, .45 caliber pistols, silencers,
the sound of bullets, rockets, and choppers,
and sometimes the sound of silence.

 

They carried C-4 plastic explosives,
an assortment of hand grenades,
PRC-25 radios with 25 foot whip antennas
and their heavy batteries, knives and machetes.

Some carried napalm, CBU's and large bombs;
some risked their lives to rescue others.

Some escaped the fear,
but dealt with the death and damage.

Some made very hard decisions,
and some just tried to survive.

 

They carried malaria, dysentery,
ringworms and leeches.

They carried the land itself
as it hardened on their boots.

They carried stationery, pencils,
and pictures of their loved ones -
real and imagined.

 

They carried love for people in the real world
and love for one another.

And sometimes they disguised that love:
"Don't mean nothin'!"

They carried memories for the most part,
they carried themselves with poise
and a kind of dignity.

 

Now and then,
there were times when panic set in,
and people squealed or wanted to, but couldn't;
when they twitched and made moaning sounds
and covered their heads and said "Dear God"
and hugged the earth and fired their weapons blindly
and cringed and begged for the noise to stop
and went wild and made promises to themselves
and God and their parents, hoping not to die.

 

They carried the traditions
of the United States military,
and memories and images of those
who served before them.

They carried grief, terror, longing
and their reputations.

 

They carried the soldier's greatest fear:
the embarrassment of dishonor.

 

They crawled into tunnels, walked point,
and advanced under fire,
so as not to die of embarrassment.

 

They were afraid of dying, but
too afraid to show it.

They carried the emotional baggage
of men and women who might die at any moment.

 

They carried the weight of the world.
and the weight of every free citizen of America .

 

And they carried each other.

From the first chapter of the book
with the same name by Tim O'Brien © 1990